The war against clean

Animals despise clean vehicles.  I had suspected this before, but I didn’t realize the lengths to which they’d go to attack them.

We really don’t wash our truck that often.  Maybe we should, but the priority level is usually somewhere around “vacuuming under the couch cushions” and “re-alphabetizing the spice rack.”  This week, I cleaned it particularly because we plan a long road trip soon.

The truck stood gleaming in the driveway, a symbol of automotive beauty, a trophy of cleanliness.  This glorious state lasted nearly 4 hours.  And then the animals began to wage war.

First, the birds.  Okay, y’all KNOW what birds do to clean vehicles.  When I went back outside to actually drive the clean truck, a white mountainous splat caught my eye right off.  Sigh.  What can you do about birds? 

Then the cats began collaborating with the birds.  How often does that happen?

By evening, we had the most amusing set of muddy cat prints.  They began on top of the car near the center.  I’m not sure how that happened, unless the birds were still helping.  Muddy tracks plastered across the roof of the car and halfway down the windshield where the individual prints turn into a smeary slide.  Apparently, cats are good skiers.  Then the tracks continued across the hood where, presumably, that cat performed a back somersault dismount and stuck the landing for perfect 10.0 score.

You know what’s really weird about those muddy pawprints?  We don’t have mud.  No puddles, no wet yards.  It’s drier than tumbleweeds here right now.  How far did the cat have to travel to locate the nearest puddle?  How did he get all the way back to the roof of my clean truck with the wet mud still glued to his paws?  I’m impressed at his dedication to the task. 

I think the cat hates clean litterboxes, too, but that’s another post.

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One thought on “The war against clean

  1. LoL! My husband kids me because I have a specific
    spot in our driveway that I park to get the least damage from the birds (there are 2 huge trees near our driveway). We have to walk a little farther to get to the house (maybe about 5-10 steps more) but we all need the exercise, right? 🙂

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