Today was writing day in our house. We use Friday Freewrites from Brave Writer (www.bravewriter.com/blog2). Technically, it is Thursday, but hey…homeschoolers are flexible, right? For the uninitiated, freewriting is an exercise where you give the child a prompt, set the timer for 10 minutes, and tell him to keep his pen moving the entire time. Spelling and grammar are irrelevant; this is all about creating content. There’s no time for revision – this is the raw writing as it first appears on paper. Sometimes we take one of these pieces and expand, polish and edit it, and sometimes we just enjoy the process. Part of the instructions for freewriting are to be outrageous, to experiment with words and ideas. My oldest son takes this part of the instructions straight to heart.
The prompt today was to create a dessert to surprise your family and friends. This is what he wrote. He completely succeeded – I’d be surprised if anyone served me this. This is what passes for humor when you’re 13.
Be sure to follow step 12.
Time to Eat
Today I will make alligator spinach flambe de really stinky pants. It is a rare delicassy among cannibals in California. Now to make it:
1. 1 live alligator
2. 4 dozen toad eggs. Yes, I said toad eggs.
3. 1 really, really stinky pair of pants.
4. 1 leg of a dead shark (these are hard to find)
5. 1/4 cup of water
6. 32/1,000,000,000 cup lemon juice (if you put a drop in , you’ve gone too far)
7. 20 cups of regurgitated milk (tricky, but not impossible)
8. 2 pounds of salt.
9. One spinach leaf.
10. Put in oven for 4 years set on high. This should give the radiation enough time to wear out.
11. Pull out of the oven.
12. Remain conscious.
13. Obtain chainsaw to cut meal and to enforce the eating of it.
14. Recommended serving size: 0 grams.
Well, that’s it for today, folks. Tune in next time for Cajun cooking.